Dang Dung Ding

Interview with Dung Dang Ding, taken from Book One, The Monuments of Panda Johnson.

Subject: Interview by April F Parka with:

Dang Dung Ding


(I turn to Dang’s door, wondering now how I will dry myself off before I go in, but I need not of worried. Pinned to the outside of the door is a note, 'Gone out!')


Conducted at the Seven Stars, Grand Vacation Resort & Hotel, Cornwall, UK. by


-    April F Parka

the following is an exert taken from Chapter 2 in The Monuments of Panda Johnson.

The building in which the RDS meetings were held, was not by anyone’s standards, lavish. It stood some four miles from Panda's meagre and messy apartment, yet still within the same sub-district stood the once, yet now defunct Council of Ohm Hall.  

The Council of Ohm were a once great Multi-Galactic religion, to which Dang had been a High Monk.

The Ohm owned halls, chapels, defunct churches and residences of faith in just about every town, city and village on near enough every planet that at least had a small populous.

Even if that planet was only a few billion years old and the inhabitants were just about capable of not pissing into the rain, they wanted it. "Catch ‘em before the crosses!" was one of their more famous sales epitaphs. 


Hold on…" I hear you say, "You said earlier that this was a now defunct religion, please explain?

Yes, I did and I’m getting to that, sometimes you are just so impatient.


So, the Council of Ohm, founded by a priest only referred to as Ms. D, was a religion based solely on this principle:


Most people believed in a God, higher power or all seeing force. 

The Ohm argued that there was no factual proof that any God existed.

So therefore it was far more likely that all in all, the only thing that could be proved to exist, were socks.  


Editor: “Socks? Oh please now this is just getting into the realms of...

Someone please call the authorities and have him interred."  

Author: "Carry on like that and I’ll start quoting Mills and Boon to really

annoy you."

Editor: "That's just sneaky."


Still having problems getting your head round it? Ok, so their argument went something like this...


     We know that socks exist...

As every time we wash them at least ten percent go missing, just vanish into thin air.

Therefore, if they vanished and could not be found, then they had to have existed in the first place?

Unlike God.  

If you would like to ask Dang Dung Ding or any of the characters a question, then why not use either our contact form on the Home page, or the question box on the Questions page.

We are always pleased to receive feedback and questions from our readers.